can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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