PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
