Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
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He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
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I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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