My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
