Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
