North Korea, Best Korea!
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
