Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
