so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
