what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
