If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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