This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
