Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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