I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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