You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
