So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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