Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
