you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
