??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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