So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
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I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
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I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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