I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
