He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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