is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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