I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
