She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
