Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
