her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
