You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux