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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?

  (516): View more from New York

  one can only hope.

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• (845): View more from New York

  our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.

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• (707): View more from California

  I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer

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• (567): View more from Ohio

  She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs

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• (210): View more from Texas

  Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.

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• 

  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.

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• (716): View more from New York

  We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet

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• (760): View more from California

  I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY

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