You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
