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• (650): View more from California

  Get your hand out of your ass!

  (734): View more from Michigan

  how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?

  (650): View more from California

  In your belly button

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye

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• (518): View more from New York

  goodnight i made you a song goodbye

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• (323): View more from California

  rhymes with "ouble enetration"

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.

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• (979): View more from Texas

  i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.

  (903): View more from Texas

  wow. i have no words.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.

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• (587): View more from Alberta

  Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (587): View more from Alberta

  You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras

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• (516): View more from New York

  Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA

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• (707): View more from California

  He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom

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