Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?