I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?