this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
