I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Its about making memories worth repressing
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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