With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
