I hate all girls vehemently.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
My vagina is officially offended.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
