I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
