"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
