I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
the liver wants what the liver wants
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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