No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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