If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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