In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
