Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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