my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I need a beard to bite.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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