Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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