I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
