I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
