pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I fill condoms, not promises.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
