I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
