If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
