it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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