when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
