I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
