yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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