i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
