I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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