it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
he just fucked me for my cheese.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
