if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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