My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
