I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
