pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
