Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
