I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
