oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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