is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
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